Disappointment crosses my mind
I should be sad, but I am not
stunned, caught from a blindspot.
an unbelievable finality.
someone I thought happy and together
how could it be like this.
the pain stops for one,
but increases for everyone else.
not an expected end.
no excuses
no going back
disappointment comes again
it messes with my mind
another friend gone away
another wreath to lay
disappointment in myself
disappointment with the dead
the final solution was his last performance
someone better than me, smarter than me
is now only just dead before me.
(no tears for the selfish)

13/11/97